I seriously can’t even deal with society.

I am multiracial and proud. So freaking proud. I am African American, I am Caucausian, I am Native American, and I am European (Portuguese). I love being a mixture of all different cultures and ethnicities and backgrounds. 

As I begin to write this, I am watching Dr. Drew’s Life Changers. The topic is about the problems black women and men seem to have with each other. 

There are some very abrasive individuals on this show, and I am finding myself incredibly frustrated. There is one woman in particular who thinks that white women are taking all of the good black man. I’ve heard this opinion before, and I’ve listened to the “evidence” behind it. I don’t agree, but I’ve never been as angry about this opinion as I am right now. She hates Kim Kardashian and women who have large butts because apparently that’s the one thing black women have going for them. She believes that if white women start getting big butts they will attract black men and take them away form the black women who have always had the curves black men want. 

A black man from the audience stood up and started saying: (this is what I can remember, so keep in mind it isn’t word for word) “I think the goal of life is really to just find someone you can connect with. Regardless of skin color or anything like that. I mean, when you die in Heaven God isn’t gonna ask ‘Did you marry a black woman?’ You shouldn’t have to be forced to say ‘Uh…I think?’ or anything like that. It’s just about finding a connection with someone and loving them.”

I agreed with him. I was proud someone was saying this. And then this woman onstage came back with “I think that’s a bit naive.”


It is naive to think that life is about loving someone, regardless of skin color or ethnic background or anything superficial. 

There is another black woman on stage who is being criticized for dating white men. She has never been in a relationship with a black man, and has only been on dates with two black men. Her interests are things like swing dancing, and Shakespeare and piccolo playing. One black man took her on a date to a Shakespeare in the Park festival (his idea) and then seemed completely disinterested the entire time they were there. So clearly they never dated again. When she told the story, some people on the stage jumped on her for not teaching this man about Shakespeare. For not taking him and explaining to him the intricacies of Shakespeare and getting him involved. 

Um…it was his idea. If someone took me somewhere and I was having a good time and they weren’t because they didn’t understand something, I would be turned off just because I would feel like they weren’t being real. I would feel like they just wanted to look good and I would most likely not see them again. Yeah, it’s a nice effort but I don’t like fake. 

Later on in the show, the woman who thinks white women are just killing the available population of good black men, asked one of the Life Changers (a very educated black man who is also a relationship counselor) to suggest how to alleviate some of the hurt and pain in their relationships. By “their” she is referring to black men and women in relationships. Because apparently when black men and women are in relationships they hold grudges against the entire black community. Their relationship is not their own, but their communities, and all the bad things that ever ever happened in any black relationship are reflected upon each individual relationship thereafter. 

I can’t even explain how upset this episode made me. A lot of it was basically backwards racism, and it upsets me that some people see an interracial couple and instead of seeing the beauty in how far the world has come they only see skin color. They see that, “Oh! A white woman is with a black man and fuck her for stealing him from some black woman.”

Attraction is an odd thing, and I don’t think anyone should be persecuted for how they are attracted to. There will always be black men who are attracted to white women. There will always be white women attracted to black men. There will always be white men attracted to black women, and vice versa and so on and so on. I think it’s bullshit to be upset about that. 

In middle school, some awful girl told me to “stick to my own race” because I had a crush on some boy she also had a crush on. He was white. And I was so utterly shocked that anyone would even say that to me, because I mean…Who the hell would that even leave me with? Oh yeah. Everyone. Because in all honesty, my race is human and anyone who says differently can go crawl in a hole and die. 

Humans are beautiful in all shapes, all sizes, all skin colors, all everything. Body chemistry dictates human attraction to certain features and it differs from person to person. So to even turn it into a “black” or “white” or whatever thing just always has and always will irk me. Every social group has problems like this, and one man on the show even said “We need to stop making this a black thing and acting like we are the only people with this problem. This is a society issue; every society and ethnic group and race has these problems.”


Love is love. 

Man and man. Woman and woman. Man and woman. Black and white. White and black. Fucking purple and yellow or green and polka dot. 

Racism and homophobia and just…people upset me. A lot. 

I haven’t even done my opinion justice because some issues just don’t let me properly express myself because there is so much frustration. 


Posted on January 12, 2012 with 30 notes

Tagged with society  dr. drew  life changers  black  white  african american  race  racism  love  dating  love is love  tv  i hate people  asdfghjkl  personal  
  1. the-domino-effect posted this